Attention Celebrities: I dare you to name your child Bob!

Dear celebrity parents,

Why do you all feel the need to name your children outlandish names. Do you not realize these kids have to keep these lives until they are at least 18 years old if not forever? Do you not understand that normal people do not want to go by "Apple" or "Bronx" for the rest of their lives? Do you not understand that there are still plenty of unique yet normal names out there?

Recently, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz finally gave birth to her son with husband and Fallout Boy bassist Pete Wentz. Did they name their child something normal like Bob? No. They named him Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yes, Mowgli as in the Jungle Book boy and Bronx as in NYC. They poor child has a long life to live.

Grantedm baby Bronx was born to two very rich young parents. Isn't that punishment enough... having Ashlee Simpson as your mother?? Obviously not, on account that the kids name is only going to harass his life even more. I feel bad for celebrity babies. Not only do they never really get to spend time with their parents (that's what full-time nannies are for!) but they are stalked by the paparzzi and are given horrid names they must answer to for the rest of their lives! It must be retched growing up in Hollywood. At least they don't have to worry about someone with the same name ever being in their class...

Spencer and Heidi get Married (divorce bets anyone??)

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montage of MTV's The Hills finally tied the knot. According to reports, the infamous duo eloped in Mexico on November 20. I give it 6 months tops.

Heidi and Spencer are without a doubt the most annoying couple in Hollywood. They are classless and ignorant not to mention very un-funny and disturbing. Spencer attempts to manage Heidi's nonexistent career as he tries to manipulate the overly-loved Lauren Conrad. Also, he is just down right ugly. Please shave, Spencer.

We have all witnessed their up and down relationship that would switch from hot to cold in a matter of seconds. What we are witnessing now is just one more step closer to divorce. After all, it is not cool in Hollywood to remain wed and Heidi and Spencer need all the help with being cool they can get.

Benji Madden Says Goodbye to Paris But Paris is Still in Love... awww shucks!

Poor Paris. She just can't seem to find her knight in shining armor because last week her and Benji Madden split up after one of the most romantic relationships in Hollywood.... except not really....

Benji Madden and Paris Hilton's relationship was a total joke, as are all of her so-called "relationships." She's a fake girl so I guess its only suiting for her to be fake in love with her fake boyfriends. Not to mention, the fact that Benji's career is pretty much non-existent didn't help his cause either.

Paris Hilton has to be the most aggravating person in Hollywood. She can't act, she can't sing, and she's a terrible role model for all the preteens that look up to her and her delinquent younger sister. The ironic part about Paris is that for some reason she is every where. Every magazine you pick up features her on at least one page. Lame. It must be nice to come from a billionaire family and have everything in life given to you, including fame and pseudo-love. Her love life might be fake but at least her money is real. I guess money can't buy love after all...

Joe Jonas DIDN'T Cheat on Taylor Swift, They Just Had Issues, That's All

Calm down Joe Jonas, no one ever said you cheated on the hottest female country artist. People were more concerned with the fact that you broke up with her during a "27 second phone call." C'mon Joe Jonas... couldn't you have at least spared Taylor Swift 60 of those precious seconds of your life? It's not like your career is going anywhere or you are really doing anything...

On the popular Myspace page of the 19 year old superstar from the group, The Jonas Brothers, he abruptly assured fans that he did not (I repeat, DID NOT) cheat on Taylor Swift. He instead says that they had issues that "led to a change of heart." So basically this translates to "Taylor, I found another girl who is almost as hot as you and much less innocent. K bye."

Clearly the "issues" they had had to do with his latest fling Camilla Belle... Is it just me or did this relationship progress very quickly after his breakup with Swift. Something fishy definitely went on between the two of them prior to the Swift-Jonas split and if it wasn't "cheating" it was obviously something close and just as bad.

Why would any guy break up with the #1 female country artists over the phone, let along a call lasting no longer than 27 seconds. Are you that lame, Joe Jonas? Do you not understand that her career could have saved yours (and your brother's) in 2 years when you are nothing because your fans are now of age? Seriously, you should have talked through these issues you speak of rather than completely pushing them under the rug. Interesting thought process, Joe Jonas... now you're career is in a slump while this breakup is currently making the ex-girlfriend millions. Congrats!

Kanye West gets it Handed to Him (and this time not by a photographer!)

If you are reading this blog and you enjoy it, you also need to check out wwtdd.com. This blog is not only hilarious and very scandalous, but it offers a whole new way of intereting the world of celebrities. For example, Thursday's blog on Kanye West being a cry baby is absolutely priceless, not to mention true. Kanye West says nothing about a lot even tho to him he is saying a lot about really important things... like how he should have won every single VMA this year.... (right.)

Excuse the crude humor and the harsh language used at wwtdd.com. The writer is simply telling it how it is and leaving nothing behind. I admire this kind of amateur journalism because at least his bias towards celebrities is acceptable.

Mariah Carey in "Santa Lingerie:" The Gift the Keeps on Giving (That's what She Said)

Isn't Mariah Carey like 40 years old?! Obviously she is not THAT old... she is married to Nick Cannon, who by the way is only 28 years old, and apparently for Christmas she likes to dress in "Santa Lingerie" and strip for her husband(s). Talk about the gift that keeps on giving... i guess?

This is just bizarre to me. I mean, last time I checked Christmas was a religious holiday and Cannon's father is a retired televangelist so he should know better. Mariah Carey's sanity has been questioned before so this passion for nakedness on the birth of Jesus doesn't really surprise me. However, it is still a little off the wall if you ask me. The most disturbing part of this Carey-Cannon pseudo-tradition is the fact that Mariah claims her and her girlfriends wear red bikinis, rolls around in show together, and then get in a hot tub. Wow. That really is a gift that keeps on giving not to mention a really really weird way of saying Happy Holidays to your neighbors.

Angelina Claims She is Going to Quit Acting!

Angelina Jolie recently said in a People Magazine interview that she plans on quitting her career as an actress in the near future. This is probably smart seeing as she has six kids.

I am starting to care less and less about Angelina Jolie each day. She gets weirder each day not to mention her family seems to grow each day. Her last movie, WANTED was terrible and her relationship with Brad Pitt is just bizarre.... (get married already?!)

Now, the creepiest part about this interview was when she said she wants to settle down and get ready for grand kids. Um, okay.... Her oldest child is like six years old so why in the world would grand kids even be on her mind. She just had twins so maybe she should focus on raising them and the four other Jolie-Pitt children, but that's just my own commonsense take on the issue. Like I said, she is a weird person and this only further proves my claim.

Lindsay Lohan is NOT a Lesbian... She's Just Dating a Girl... duh?

Fox news has out done their leadership in journalism with their new online story about Lindsay Lohan's love for Samantha Ronson. Did we mention this is NOT homosexual love...

Ronson and Lohan have been seen cuddling, kissing, touching, and doing very loving things together for almost a year yet neither has come out of the closest and officially announced their relationship to the rest of the world. Until now... sort of.

In an interview with Fox News, Lindsay Lohan says that it is "obvious who she is seeing" and that she is not a lesbian but may be a bisexual. She's not a fan of labels, as she claimed, not to mention I'm sure her head is still clouded from the years of alcohol and cocaine abuse. Regardless, the truth came out, sort of, that her and Samantha Ronson are officially an item, just not a lesbian item. No offense, but I am pretty confident that Ronson is gay. That is assuming she really is a female. (I find her looks rather deceiving, myself) Now, if I were gay and taking Lindsay Lohan out on a bunch of hot dates, I would probably want her to be gay too... or at least admit to being bisexual. I wonder how Samantha feels about the whole "I don't like labels" comment? Is it really that embarrassing to admit you like girls after you've been photographed throwing up in the back of a Navigator, cracked out on drugs in the passenger seat of your friend's car, smoking pot inside a club, drinking underage, wrecking your brand new Mercedes while under the influence of God only knows, and without any panties? Hmmm.... I guess so.

Nope, Sorry, Britney Spears will NOT be the Virgin Mary in an Upcoming Film

In Guy Debord's Society as Spectacle, he defines "spectacle" as "the principle of commodity fetishism, the domination of society by "intangible as well as tangible things," which reaches its absolute fulfillment in the spectacle, where the tangible world is replaced by a selection of images which exist above it, and which simultaneously impose themselves as the tangible par excellence" (2.36). Clearly this is seen all over Hollywood, unfortunately.

Rumor of the streets is that Britney Spears has turned down the role of VIRGIN MARY in an upcoming film.... Could this possibly be the smartest thing Spears has done in awhile? I think so.

Apparently, an indie film is in the works called, "Sweet Baby Jesus," and producer Amy Redford thought Spears would be an excellent Virgin Mary. (It's a satire if you didn't already figure that out) Regardless, satire or no satire, who in the world would want to watch Spears play a role in ANY movie. Did no one ever see Crossroads in 2002.... it starred her BEFORE she went loony and guess what, it still sucked. As a matter of fact, I think it is safe to say that Redford only wanted Spears in the movie to add to the fictionalized, over-the-top spectacle of the movie. Controversy and drama seems to follow Britney Spears not just in Hollywood but at her handful of other homes as well. What better way to satirize and destroy religion than putting her as the Virgin Mary?!

I, personally, feel like more controversy would be created if a porn star were cast in the role because people are just getting sick of Britney Spears and her unusual life. Spears has a aura about her of weirdness and insanity that is commodified by her unusual appearances and new songs. She herself has become an even bigger commodity to gossip magazines as her life story is a sure sell. However, seeing her making fun of the Virgin Mary seems too much to me. Would she even understand the whole satire part of the film or would she actually try to immerse herself in the actual role of the Virgin Mary? Who knows, but rest assure this movie will do a whole lot better, and create a much bigger spectacle and stir without her name attached to the film in any way.